"How To Save A Life"

“Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness
and I would have stayed up with you all night
had I known how to save a life”

-The Fray

Narrative

            I’m just going to start with a large thank you right now to each and every one of you guys for believing in me, especially my facilitator, Mrs. Dixon. If you hadn't let us pick the topic we want to write on, I would've never started my dream. So thank you so much April, you are truly amazing.

            My journey so far has been a roller coaster to say the least, and I’m not a fan of roller coasters, but this one, this was a good one. My whole life I've been denied of what I can, and can’t do, so I’d like to take you on a journey real quick if you don’t mind. I’m sorry for the length of the post, and I hope you stick till the end.

            You may be wondering, “How does she have so much information on this topic, she must research it,” and to a point, yes, I do research some of this information that I didn't know at the time, but almost all the information comes from my knowledge of depression. I have been suffering from depression since 7^th grade. It all really started to hit me when I switched schools in the middle of 7^th grade. The new little 7^th grade girl that didn't know anything about this much bigger school was very venerable to bullies, and that’s what happened.  I was bullied all throughout 7^th and 8^th grade. Of course, I didn't know what depression was at the time, until it was too late. Freshman year hit, and I was going to one of the biggest public school I've ever gone to, and I was terrified, and for a good reason. It was one of the worst years of my life. I remember waking up, wishing I hadn't, never smiling unless it was fake. It was an unexplained pain that not many teenagers knew about. I then remember my Aunt one day randomly came over to my house (which, she never does) and sat me down and asked me, “Lindsay, do you know what Depression is,” and it was in that moment it struck me, I had depression, I knew why I always had a constant sadness in the back of my head. So I said yes, she asked me to prove it, and I said, “It’s when someone is really, really sad, and doesn't tell anyone,” she smiled and nodded her head and said, “That’s correct, know, do you feel that way?” and I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life, I said “No…” and smiled. “That’s the first time I've seen her smile in months,” I remember my mom saying. That night, I cried in the shower, and cried myself to sleep.

            The begging of sophomore year was ten times worse than freshman, and I was in a living hell, that I wanted to escape. My mom finally let me switched schools after I broke down in tears in front of her for the first time.  My depression has shrunk hugely after moving to this school because I feel something I've never felt before, safe. From school to school, the one thing I have never felt was safe, and now I do.

            This had why my journey as been a roller coaster, but now that I know the huge amount of teens and adults that suffer from this monster,  I want to be there to help them, and I know that I’m surely doing that, and I love it. So thank you guys so much for giving me this chance, and letting me know that I’m helping, it means a lot. I will be filming once I’m not sick, so look for that. I love you all, and if you have any question, please, please, ask, I’m here to help. I love you all, and I hope you guys have a nice day.

            ~Lindsay