"To This Day"

“but our lives will only ever always
continue to be
a balancing act
that has less to do with pain
and more to do with beauty.”

-Shane Koyczan

You guys can find my final blog post here c:

Final Reflection

        As I said, this journey has been a rollercoaster, and I hate rollercoaster’s, but this has been one of the wildest ones I’ve ever been on. I’m so glad I was able to take you all on this small journey of my life, and I hope you’ve had as much fun as I have.

            To summarize what I did; I took on the huge challenge of stopping depression once and for all, and though I haven’t gotten rid of it all I’m taking baby steps toward that direction. For the past few weeks, I’ve have been sitting down in front of a camera and I began talking to people, educating them on depression, and a few red flags to look for. I sat down with a mentor that has had a large experience with troubled teens, and has given me amazing ideas for my next videos. I have also shared my story, in hopes to show that you are not alone, not matter what it feels like.

            I will be doing my best to continue my YouTube channel, for I do not want to hear about teens hurting themselves anymore, eventually leading to suicide. Depression is a serious thing that is being taken too lightly, and shouldn’t be an everyday norm.

            Thank you guys so much for this amazing journey, and I hope to see you soon.

~Lindsay

Side Note: If you guys could please click on the "To This Day" link, it will take you to this amazing video that will surely make you think differently about depression.

"How To Save A Life"

“Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness
and I would have stayed up with you all night
had I known how to save a life”

-The Fray

Narrative

            I’m just going to start with a large thank you right now to each and every one of you guys for believing in me, especially my facilitator, Mrs. Dixon. If you hadn't let us pick the topic we want to write on, I would've never started my dream. So thank you so much April, you are truly amazing.

            My journey so far has been a roller coaster to say the least, and I’m not a fan of roller coasters, but this one, this was a good one. My whole life I've been denied of what I can, and can’t do, so I’d like to take you on a journey real quick if you don’t mind. I’m sorry for the length of the post, and I hope you stick till the end.

            You may be wondering, “How does she have so much information on this topic, she must research it,” and to a point, yes, I do research some of this information that I didn't know at the time, but almost all the information comes from my knowledge of depression. I have been suffering from depression since 7^th grade. It all really started to hit me when I switched schools in the middle of 7^th grade. The new little 7^th grade girl that didn't know anything about this much bigger school was very venerable to bullies, and that’s what happened.  I was bullied all throughout 7^th and 8^th grade. Of course, I didn't know what depression was at the time, until it was too late. Freshman year hit, and I was going to one of the biggest public school I've ever gone to, and I was terrified, and for a good reason. It was one of the worst years of my life. I remember waking up, wishing I hadn't, never smiling unless it was fake. It was an unexplained pain that not many teenagers knew about. I then remember my Aunt one day randomly came over to my house (which, she never does) and sat me down and asked me, “Lindsay, do you know what Depression is,” and it was in that moment it struck me, I had depression, I knew why I always had a constant sadness in the back of my head. So I said yes, she asked me to prove it, and I said, “It’s when someone is really, really sad, and doesn't tell anyone,” she smiled and nodded her head and said, “That’s correct, know, do you feel that way?” and I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life, I said “No…” and smiled. “That’s the first time I've seen her smile in months,” I remember my mom saying. That night, I cried in the shower, and cried myself to sleep.

            The begging of sophomore year was ten times worse than freshman, and I was in a living hell, that I wanted to escape. My mom finally let me switched schools after I broke down in tears in front of her for the first time.  My depression has shrunk hugely after moving to this school because I feel something I've never felt before, safe. From school to school, the one thing I have never felt was safe, and now I do.

            This had why my journey as been a roller coaster, but now that I know the huge amount of teens and adults that suffer from this monster,  I want to be there to help them, and I know that I’m surely doing that, and I love it. So thank you guys so much for giving me this chance, and letting me know that I’m helping, it means a lot. I will be filming once I’m not sick, so look for that. I love you all, and if you have any question, please, please, ask, I’m here to help. I love you all, and I hope you guys have a nice day.

            ~Lindsay 

Persuasive Piece

“Stressed Out”

I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink,
But now I’m insecure and I care what people think.

-Twenty-one Pilots

           

What is Depression?

            Depression, by definition is feelings of severe despondency and dejection, self-doubt that in a snap of the finger turns into Depression. Although, Depression feels so much worse than just those feeling of being alone, it makes you feel as if you’re worthless. All Feelings that you’ve had of happiness is replaced by sadness, and you have to say you’re okay because people just wouldn’t understand.

            That’s a short description of what depression feels like, but I’m here to tell you, you can do it.

Reasons to Help

            I’ve never been asked this question before, but I know people are asking these themselves, saying things such as, “They obviously don’t my help,” or “They’re already sad for help.” All of this is not true what so ever, studies show that suicide is the third leading cause of among young people, resulting in 4,400 deaths per year.

            I’ve heard many stories by teenagers about how their friend took their own life because of depression. Parents are the same way, telling stories of how their child took their own life, causing the hardest pain on the parent.

            Studies show that 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying. Teachers and Principals always say things such as, “Don’t be afraid to tell someone if you’re being bullied,” although this doesn’t work for the bully can easily find out who ratted them out, causing more bullying to happen.

What can we do to help?

            One small step we can take is to make sure you’re friend or child is okay. Some red flags may include; loss in appetite, what used to interest them, doesn’t fulfill their need anymore, loss of social connection, doesn’t care anymore, and self harm. If any of these signs appear, you should try talking to the person.

            Anther way to help is just be there for them, just tell them you’ll be there for them. So many depression victims have no one to talk to making them feel alone and abandoned, but if you’re there for someone, they’ll most likely talk to you instead of doing something drastic.

            Those are just some things you should consider to help stop depression once and for all.

SIDE NOTE: I’m sorry I  haven’t been on schedule as of late, but I’m should be back on schedule again soon, just a lot going on right now in school. Also, when I’m not sick, I’ll post anther video, so leave questions in the comments you’d like me to answer!

~Lindsay

"Invisible"

These labels that they give you
just 'cause they don't understand
If you look past this moment
You'll see you've got a friend
Waving a flag for who you are
And all you're gonna do
Yeah, so here's to you
And here's to anyone who's ever felt invisible

-Hunter Hayes

Reflection

            I would just like to start off with a very large thank you to each and every one of you for your kind words and having faith in me. Ever since I learned what depression was, and the monster that it is, I knew I always wanted to help.  So I wanted to say thank you for having faith in me. It truly means everything to me.

            So on to my next post. I’d like to also announce that my interview will be this Saturday with my mentor. I also may not be able to film it, so I’m sorry about that, but I will try my best.

            So far, I absolutely believe that I am making a difference and I can’t be more ecstatic. Every time I ever mentioned becoming a YouTuber, people said it would never happen, that they didn't believe I could help so many people, but look at me! It may just be a few people so far, but I will never give up on those people. I love every one of you guys so much.

            I’d also love to  get connected with you guys a bit more, so in the comments, please leave some question you’d like me to answer and I’d  be more than happy to answer. If you need any advice, also ask and I’d be more than happy to try and give some.

            Thank you guys so much for all of the kind of words again, and I’m very excited to see what come next along my journey.

"To This Day"

Started therapy in 8th grade
had a personality made up of tests and pills
lived like the uphill’s were mountains
and the downhill’s were cliffs
four fifths suicidal
a tidal wave of anti depressants
and an adolescence of being called popper
one part because of the pills
and ninety nine parts because of the cruelty

-Shane Koyczan

Mentor Interview

        For my mentor, I have decided to pick a therapist that is very good family friends with my Grandmother, and I've had to see her before. Her name is Bernadette Butz. I unfortunately have not been able to get a hold of her yet, but I should be able to talk to her in the next day or so.

            Some of my Interview will be posted on my blog, but some the whole thing will be found here.

            I will be talking to her about what are some of the depression side effects that she sees a lot, as well as tips she may have to help with this mental illness.

             I hope you enjoy my first video, and are excited to see more to come.

EDIT: Unfortunately the person I was planning to use is currently out of town till May. So instead I will be choosing a counselor I've been to a couple of time. I am still planning on filming it unless otherwise said. I will also be asking her the same questions.   

"To This Day Project" 

To this day,
He is a stick of TNT lit from both ends
could describe to you in detail the way the sky bends
in the moments before it’s about to fall
and despite an army of friends
who all call him an inspiration
he remains a conversation piece between people
who can’t understand

- Shane Koyczan

My 20% Project

            Hello, my name is Lindsay, and my 20% Project is something that I believe is absolutely not okay, and needs to be put to a stop. Depression is a serious topic that I believe is not covered enough at all.  As days go by, another kid is closer, or already has, self harmed or committed suicide and I can’t take it anymore.  My one wish in life is to put an end to bullying and help people who do have this mental illness.

Action Plan

            I will admit, this will not be an easy task, but I’m up for the challenge. My action plan consist of something that just about every kid uses every day. Internet. I will be making a YouTube channel in hopes I can reach out to more kids and teenagers.

I always hear and see kids saying things such as, “The only reason I’m here is because of my favorite YouTuber.”  Which is awesome, it’s amazing that only one person is keeping anther amazing person alive. This also got the wheels turning in my head. I always thought, “What if I could help amazing people stay alive as well?” One of my life long dreams was to help people with depression and other things as well.

So, my action plan will consist of making a YouTube channel, and talking to a therapist as well